Sharing is Caring

On top of all of the new changes our growing family will soon face with the addition of little Lucas (come OUT boy!)---Olivia started a nanny share this week.

Now, if you've been reading this blog from the get-go you know Charm City Daddy and I are well-versed in the at-home child care department. As you may recall we've had an au pair (let go), a live-out (moved),  a live-in (fired!), and now our latest live-out nanny has evolved into a nanny share. 

That's right,  our nanny is SO wonderful another family has also recognized it and they proposed  a nanny share with their 16-month old son--who by the way is super sweet, smiley, and A-DORABLE. Olivia thinks he is the little baby brother we told her was coming soon. Imagine her surprise when her real brother arrives, much smaller--and oh, yeah BROWN. haha. I love kids. When Olivia doesn't call her new friend "boy" or "brother" we try to get her to call him by his name or at least "buddy." It's really cute.

Our nanny is such a great match for our family and lifestyle, I was a bit hesitant (at first) to share her. But understanding Olivia's need and desire for socialization, and seeing the nanny's enthusiasm about the idea of a share (not to mention additional income for her) how could I refuse? I am happy for her and think it will work out well for everyone--especially the kids. And that's all that matters.

I Jinxed It.

Just a week ago, I blogged about our new nanny who had been with us for about 4 weeks at that point. Just 5 days later we fired her.

I think my blogging jinxed it.

I waited to blog about our her until that point to see how things would transition, but Olivia never warmed up to her--her bad attitude with us only got increasingly worse (i.e. teeth sucking, laughter, eye rolling to weekly feedback about her techniques). French-attitude? Perhaps.

We tried to find middle ground to her very structured technique and our parenting style but it got to the point where (even with short-goodbyes or distractions) Olivia was terrified to stay with her (and see us leave) which has never been the case before and the nanny would get upset when we actually tried to console and comfort our own child. I kept thinking, who is the parent/employer here?

Our feeling  was that Olivia should have warmed up to a presumably good nanny (that lived with us) by 5 weeks. This was not the case, so we had to listen to our instincts and our child.

It's too bad, but her reaction to our news that we were giving her 2-weeks notice only reaffirms that we made the right decision. She packed up and moved out of the house at that very moment, bumping her belongings down the stairs from our third floor where she stayed and making noise right up until her 12 midnight departure. We told her she was welcome to stay with us until she found another family--as we will not be seeking another live-in, but nope. She wanted to go out with a bang--yet another indication of her stubborn ways.

Luckily we're close to the holidays, and I will have an extended break to take care of Olivia thanks to my job. We hope to start the New Year with a new live-out nanny. But until then--it's part-time help from Charm City Grandma (thanks mom!) and good ole trusty Charm City Daddy!

The New Nanny

She's from Paris, France  but she's lived in the U.S. for 3 years on a student visa and is fluent in English. We were lucky to scoop her up from a DC family with three young girls (age 6, 3, 1) that she had been with for the last 3 years but the family is moving to the Midwest.

In contrast to Olivia's last nanny who was really Olivia's 3rd grandma, she is very strict and structured and it is all paying off.  Olivia is thriving from the challenge and finally learning Baby Can Read! She's more polite and oh so happy to see me come home and tell the nanny "bye bye."

The only thing is, I don't think Olivia has caught on that the nanny actually lives with us---on the third floor. We went with a live-in nanny, yet again for the pending arrival of baby #2.  It is was just so nice and so convenient to have someone around in the first few weeks, and it helped me sneak away to the gym quite often too. Speaking of gym postpartum, my silly sister told me she went to the gym 4 days postpartum but didn't really do anything. OMG. Good thing our mom is there to talk to sense into her.  I think she realized that those narcotics (for contracting uterus pain- OUCH!) and postpartum girdles give you a false sense of security.

Back to the nanny--since this is now our 3rd nanny in a little over a year, here's what we've learned about what works for us:

1. Older, experienced nanny for the early stages (newborn - 9 months)
2. Younger, energetic, structured nanny for 10 months/walking and older
3.  Live-In works if you set guidelines on work hours, food (mini-fridge), cleanliness, curfews, car access, can give them a private area of the house.
4.  Live-Out works if they have reliable transportation and have some schedule flexibility.
5. Agencies: are helpful for screening, but can add costly overhead and excessive fees/wages--use referrals from friends, or nannies looking to exit their existing au pair/nanny agency.
6. Schedules, contracts, and detailed directions are a good thing. They give you both something to consult to be consistent.
7. You can never be clear enough about expectations and it will require some tweaking on a weekly basis at first, so plan to recap at week's end good or bad.
8. Finally even the best laid plans will change with your baby's needs so be flexible.

Another Nanny Creation

I came home today and couldn't stop laughing.

1. Rockawear Onesie +

1. Old Navy Heart Tights (worn on top of onesie)

= Happy, but Fashion-Confused Baby.

If Olivia were on the the red carpet, I'd ask her "Where are you going?"

She might reply, "To a Jay-Z concert as an 80's dancer, on Valentine's Day."

Nanny Update

We LOVE Olivia's new nanny! She's a professional, and we consider ourselves very blessed to have found her.

And hey, while you're here, take a closer look at Olivia's outfit. The nanny dresses her up in the funniest outfits (multiple times a day)---just for giggles and because the baby will grow out of everything so quickly. I had to take a picture of this recent creation.

 

Pajama hat--w/ pulled bangs? (lol) + Church Dress + Gym Socks = Hilarious.

Isn't she a doll? ...Like the one I always wanted as a child. Praise God.

Fired & Hired!

So many changes going on in the Charm City household in recent days!

First of all, I was fired again. That is, Olivia has decided she does not want to nurse any more, so we are back to formula. Oh well, bring on the caffeinated coffee and boos!

Also fired last week was the au pair. SHOCKER!? Not really. She was a sweet, SWEET girl and she served her purpose for those first few weeks while I was recovering from delivery, transitioning into motherhood, going to the gym, and getting back to work, but beyond that Charm City Daddy and I wanted our home and refridgerator back! Did I tell you the girl could eat? She ate more than CCD and I combined.

In her first month with us I spent nearly $1000 on groceries. (2 trips to the market and 1 trip to Sam's Club). After the first week when I noticed the groceries I purchased that should have lasted 2 weeks were gone, I told her that the food was going nowhere and she needed to "pace herself." Her reply was that in her native Columbia, they eat big breakfasts and lunches.  I said, "Everyday?! Well with all of the junk and preservatives in the food here in the U.S. you won't be a size 2 for much longer." I could go on and on about the eating but suffice it to say it got out of hand, inconsiderate, and very pricey.

Also her experience with infants was very limited and while she followed my instructions to a tee (we keep a daily journal ), I didn't have much confidence in her judgements when left to her own devices/common sense. For example if the baby appears to be hungry after her normal 4 ounces, then giver her an additional  half ounce to an ounce of formual but NOT another 4 ounces! Diaper rash also became an issue in the first two weeks that I returned to work, as Charm City Baby's diapers were not being changed often enough. We worked through it (btw A & D ointment works miracles and we don't change the baby without it) and she's fine now. .

Combine all of those issues, with a 22-year-old from Columbia who loves to chat it up on the phone and party on weekends (understandably), Charm City Daddy and I weren't too keen on having a teenager in the house--just yet. Within a week of breaking the news to the au pair (it was so tough for me), another family with 3 children  (ages 2, 3, and 5) scooped her right up. The new family doesn't live in the city like us--but in the "safer" suburbs of Baltimore. The ages of the children are ideal for her skillset and bag of tricks--tons of songs and sing-a-longs. "Listo Calisto?" was my favorite. Overall, I think that she has found a much better match in her new family and I couldn't be happier for her.

We departed on good terms and realized that we had a pleasant, brief experience together. At dinner on Friday night, we were summing it all up and we realized that we had learned many new things about each others' cultures. I think she is going to miss our loud, gospel-music filled, A.M.E (African Methodist Episcopol) church on Sundays, too.

This morning, our 64 year-old LIVE-OUT nanny, Julia started. Yeah!! Prior to joining us, Julia took care of 4 girls for a family for 11 years! That's what I'm talking about. We've got a real nanny on our hands folks. I can't wait to see how she and Olivia bond.

Help is Here!

Yesterday, after months of applications, interviews, emails, and skype sessions---our au pair arrived!




You can tell how hot it was by my greasy shine

You can also see that little Olivia has NOT arrived yet! Since we have no baby--YET--- we spent the afternoon shopping and had a nice dinner while Charm City Daddy was out of town. I couldn't convince her to do a mani/pedi with me (imagine that!).

She is great by the way. She brought Columbian children's sing-a-long DVD's and CD's as well as bilingual flash cards for Olivia. I can't wait to sing along myself!

So, Charm City Daddy has returned home from his trip. The au pair is here. I am ready to get this show on the road! You hear that Charm City Baby? Let's DO this.

Baby Nightmares

Is it normal to have nightmares about being a bad mom? I had one last night and it has continued to haunt me all day.

Here's the dream...

Charm City Baby was born, healthy, but small (like 5 lbs and only a couple days old) and I was taking her out for trip to D.C. For some dumb reason I only packed one 4 oz bottle and zero diapers to bring along--you see where this is going...

To make matters worse I carried her on the trip in a Vera Bradley tote bag--HUH?! She slept in there and didn't make a peep. At some point I forgot she was in there and looked down and she was half asleep but not making any noise. Suddenly I thought she was starving to death or dehydrated so I gave her the one 4 oz bottle I had. She scarfed it down in 60 seconds flat and I panicked that I didn't have anything else for her. She looked up at me with her wrinkly little, tired face and told me (yes, she spoke) the milk was "nasty" and she preferred another kind. I didn't have anymore! She started to cry but no sound came out--just the face. I then checked her diaper--but she wasn't even wearing one! Ahh! Dream sequence over.

I'm so afraid I'm going not going to get my baby's basic needs met b/c I'm going to forget. I know this is irrational impossible since I will be with her 24/7 for the first months of her life, but what a scary dream!

Is this normal anxiety?

The New Facebook...

This website has become Charm City Daddy's new Facebook. I kid you not.

We've had great success in finding excellent au pair candidates for Olivia through our original agency, or at least we did in my opinion. But no one was good enough in the eyes of CCD.

This is how the conversations went ( with some *dramatization added*):

CCM: "Look babe, this girl had a great application, she's 22, she's Russian, fluent in German, has newborn/infant experience and she's safety certified. Perfect!"

CCD: "Uhhh yeah, but if you look at her closely she seems too frail to hold a baby, she had some health issues two years ago, and I'm thinking fluent Mandarin would be desirable as well."

CCM: "Okaaaay."

So since NO ONE could please CCD, I turned the search for an au pair over to him and he has taken it on with pure enthusiasm.

I get no less than 4 emails a day where CCD has copied me on his "cross examinations" of AP candidates via email. It's getting to be quite the entertainment. On the particular "facebook" website he uses, the responses can almost be instantaneous, where an AP can tag you, put you on their "hot list," send you a message, etc. Its crazy.

I am glad he's taking care of these initial details and he has the background to do the proper due diligence. He's narrowing the candidates and together we're choosing the person that will ultimately live with us and influence the first year (or two) of Olivia's life.

The decision will need be made by late June if visas/international travel are involved, so a little less than 2 months to go!

Our Quest for an Au Pair...

At the end of last week, Charm City Daddy and I started the application process for an au pair for Charm City Baby.

Somehow over a year ago, CCD found out about this company and signed us up to start recieving information. After a few mailers a local coordinator from Cultural Care contacted us to begin starting the application process, that's when I had to inform the company that my darling husband had contacted them prior to us even concieving child! ha! They found this very amusing.

So anyway, this week I contacted the same local coordinator to let her know that we're ready to begin the application process---and what an involved and lengthy application process it is.

In fact the application/screening process is not very different from when my family hosted an exchange student from Germany when I was in high school. Applications, background checks, interviews, but all very much worth it--and I am still in touch with our exchange student today!

Now CCD and I are simply looking for a responsible caretaker that can also expose CCB to another culture or language--hopefully one that we know too like Russian (CCD) or Spanish (me)--or can learn.

After hearing our friends' daycare stories about pre-potty trained costs, backup plan when your baby is sick, pick-up times, keeping baby on schedule, etc, I know we are making the right decision for us.

We will see how this year goes, and if an AP turns out to be a good fit for our family and lifestyle, we plan to build a AP studio apt just above our freestanding garage.

If the application process continues to progress smoothly over the next couple of months-we'll pick up our new au pair on August 14th! Wish us luck!