Sharing is Caring

On top of all of the new changes our growing family will soon face with the addition of little Lucas (come OUT boy!)---Olivia started a nanny share this week.

Now, if you've been reading this blog from the get-go you know Charm City Daddy and I are well-versed in the at-home child care department. As you may recall we've had an au pair (let go), a live-out (moved),  a live-in (fired!), and now our latest live-out nanny has evolved into a nanny share. 

That's right,  our nanny is SO wonderful another family has also recognized it and they proposed  a nanny share with their 16-month old son--who by the way is super sweet, smiley, and A-DORABLE. Olivia thinks he is the little baby brother we told her was coming soon. Imagine her surprise when her real brother arrives, much smaller--and oh, yeah BROWN. haha. I love kids. When Olivia doesn't call her new friend "boy" or "brother" we try to get her to call him by his name or at least "buddy." It's really cute.

Our nanny is such a great match for our family and lifestyle, I was a bit hesitant (at first) to share her. But understanding Olivia's need and desire for socialization, and seeing the nanny's enthusiasm about the idea of a share (not to mention additional income for her) how could I refuse? I am happy for her and think it will work out well for everyone--especially the kids. And that's all that matters.

I Jinxed It.

Just a week ago, I blogged about our new nanny who had been with us for about 4 weeks at that point. Just 5 days later we fired her.

I think my blogging jinxed it.

I waited to blog about our her until that point to see how things would transition, but Olivia never warmed up to her--her bad attitude with us only got increasingly worse (i.e. teeth sucking, laughter, eye rolling to weekly feedback about her techniques). French-attitude? Perhaps.

We tried to find middle ground to her very structured technique and our parenting style but it got to the point where (even with short-goodbyes or distractions) Olivia was terrified to stay with her (and see us leave) which has never been the case before and the nanny would get upset when we actually tried to console and comfort our own child. I kept thinking, who is the parent/employer here?

Our feeling  was that Olivia should have warmed up to a presumably good nanny (that lived with us) by 5 weeks. This was not the case, so we had to listen to our instincts and our child.

It's too bad, but her reaction to our news that we were giving her 2-weeks notice only reaffirms that we made the right decision. She packed up and moved out of the house at that very moment, bumping her belongings down the stairs from our third floor where she stayed and making noise right up until her 12 midnight departure. We told her she was welcome to stay with us until she found another family--as we will not be seeking another live-in, but nope. She wanted to go out with a bang--yet another indication of her stubborn ways.

Luckily we're close to the holidays, and I will have an extended break to take care of Olivia thanks to my job. We hope to start the New Year with a new live-out nanny. But until then--it's part-time help from Charm City Grandma (thanks mom!) and good ole trusty Charm City Daddy!

The New Nanny

She's from Paris, France  but she's lived in the U.S. for 3 years on a student visa and is fluent in English. We were lucky to scoop her up from a DC family with three young girls (age 6, 3, 1) that she had been with for the last 3 years but the family is moving to the Midwest.

In contrast to Olivia's last nanny who was really Olivia's 3rd grandma, she is very strict and structured and it is all paying off.  Olivia is thriving from the challenge and finally learning Baby Can Read! She's more polite and oh so happy to see me come home and tell the nanny "bye bye."

The only thing is, I don't think Olivia has caught on that the nanny actually lives with us---on the third floor. We went with a live-in nanny, yet again for the pending arrival of baby #2.  It is was just so nice and so convenient to have someone around in the first few weeks, and it helped me sneak away to the gym quite often too. Speaking of gym postpartum, my silly sister told me she went to the gym 4 days postpartum but didn't really do anything. OMG. Good thing our mom is there to talk to sense into her.  I think she realized that those narcotics (for contracting uterus pain- OUCH!) and postpartum girdles give you a false sense of security.

Back to the nanny--since this is now our 3rd nanny in a little over a year, here's what we've learned about what works for us:

1. Older, experienced nanny for the early stages (newborn - 9 months)
2. Younger, energetic, structured nanny for 10 months/walking and older
3.  Live-In works if you set guidelines on work hours, food (mini-fridge), cleanliness, curfews, car access, can give them a private area of the house.
4.  Live-Out works if they have reliable transportation and have some schedule flexibility.
5. Agencies: are helpful for screening, but can add costly overhead and excessive fees/wages--use referrals from friends, or nannies looking to exit their existing au pair/nanny agency.
6. Schedules, contracts, and detailed directions are a good thing. They give you both something to consult to be consistent.
7. You can never be clear enough about expectations and it will require some tweaking on a weekly basis at first, so plan to recap at week's end good or bad.
8. Finally even the best laid plans will change with your baby's needs so be flexible.